I feel somewhat vulnerable sharing some of these experiences with you, but i have realized that we all have trials and challenges and in some way maybe what we've gone through and go through will give you hope. I pray that you'd do the same for me. You know i love to hear real life stories; the good, the bad, the beautiful and the ugly! I keep a pretty detailed journal of my life, but i wanted to share just a glimpse of our military journey thus far. I've been through a whirlwind of emotions the last 24 hours, but i'm hear to tell you that i'm done throwing my temper tantrums (for now!)! Going through challenges is the best part of our story.......... I pray that you will be able to see the silver lining too!
Kansas is a beautiful and wonderful place...becuz i choose it to be such. It's not my first choice or even in my top 50, but........:) the Lord needs us to stay here longer than we (Justin & I) had planned. Let me bring you up to date. As you may know our military journey has been the biggest challenge for us yet. We volunteered to serve this amazing country (thanks to me and my bright ideas~ just kidding)..., but we've had to fight every step of the way just to serve. Many of you would ask, (sometimes indirectly) why we were doing this, especially if there was so much to lose. I appreciated the concerns. The only answer i could give and is still the same today, would be OBEDIENCE. We knew it would change everything about life as we knew it; especially financially. I testify to you that we each had personal experiences and KNEW without a doubt that it was what we were supposed to do. From that point on it was all about being obedient to a divine calling that we could not and would not deny. As cheesy as that sounds, it really was that profound. We wrote that in our journals, knowing we would need to refer to that moment often!...and boy did those obstacles rear their ugly heads and fast! EVERYTHING about our future was and is still uncertain. We felt an urgency to move forward quickly, so we put our AJ home up for sale and knew the Lord would pick up any slack. Well, this is where our faith truly began to be tested! As you may remember we acted on these promptings back in Jan. 2009, and it was delay after delay. The recruiters office that we originally started with told us that it was unusual for there to be a hiccup at every move we made. ..........and 9 months later (yes, 9 months later) Justin finally was able to swear in and get ready to go. It was a miracle, but... (always a big but), they told him that his MOS (military intelligence job) was no longer available, which had taken us months of prayer and effort to obtain and qualify for in the first place, becuz of the real intricate security clearance process. So instead they handed Justin a list of three 'entry level' positions that were available to him at the time, even though he scored high on his asvab test. We were given a few moments to make a decision. "Do we go forward with this, or just find a stable job somewhere else and walk away??!" We prayed quickly and was reminded of our journal entries.......We knew we must go forward. We chose Artillery (which is his current MOS), but also felt that it was preliminary to something that would open up later on. He went through basic and his job training this last year and our first duty station is here where we are today in Kansas.
Okay, so the first week we were here we lived in a hotel because nothing (and i mean nothing) was available. After more fervent prayer we finally found a home, but off base (which is extremely expensive). I really had to be careful that my emotions were in check, cuz our kiddos were watching our every move. Jerika thought we were on vacation and when we did get into a home, she was ready to go back home to Grandma and Papa's. Let me just say here too, I am forever grateful to my wonderful parents who took our family in during that time. It was all part of God's plan! Then, Justin came to me this same week and said, "I have a feeling i'm supposed to check into the 'Special Forces' Unit here, how do you feel about this?" Special Forces being it's own entity; the 'elite' of the Army, with sooooooo many more benefits (and some risks). He would be able to serve with a different caliber of men, he would move up in rank quicker (which means a more stable income for us), and the fact that it just fits him perfectly! We had discussed it before, but it wasn't an option at the time. So, I looked into his eyes (knowing he was scared of my reaction) and i saw them just light up! We went to the orientation and i immediately felt that it was right and that he would make it and would be a tremendous asset to this organization. We prayed for confirmation and i felt completely at peace that this was where we needed to focus. This was the end of June, so he started training with the hopes that he could have the opportunity to go to selection (aka 3 weeks in hell) in Sept. We had to convince his commander to let him go to this training, becuz his current company was headed to their own training in LA preparing for deployment in Nov. and he would miss that training. So many miracles happened (amongst the chaos) during this time, but he finally got permission. His regular unit left for training in LA and he went off to this Special Forces training in NC. During these 3 weeks the men are "let go" all along the way for not qualifying for different things. There were 400 men in his class. I didn't get to talk to him at all during this time, but "no news was good news." He had to make it through 3 gates in order to be officially selected. The first week was all individual tests, (physical & mental intense evaluations) i didn't get a phone call, the 2nd week was all land navigation testing, and at the time i didn't get a phone call then either, so i just knew he'd make it through the team events in the 3rd week..........well, Monday of the 3rd week he called me. I really didn't hesitate when his name came up on my phone, cuz i knew he was going to make it. Well, he told me he was being sent home, and i didn't believe him at first. I was really SHOCKED! He felt like everything was going good, even though it was tough he made all of his times and was actually performing better than in practice here. At the end of the second week, during the navigational portion, they dropped him off in the middle of the night (no headlamps, flashlights allowed), onto the 'star course.' He was given a map and he had to find all 5 points of the star to finish. They had to qualify within a certain amount of time too. Well, Justin told me that he made it from point A to point B and went to look at his map for the 3rd point and he couldn't find his map. He realized that somewhere along the way his map must've been snagged out of his pocket, cuz the terrain was pretty brutal! He knelt down in prayer and felt that he should back track to find it. He knelt in prayer 6 or 7 times during his search and never found it. Well, of course he was being watched, so he was picked up and they had to let him go! He said he felt completely empty in that moment and that his 'natural man' tendencies questioned the Lord. He had prepared the best he could and couldn't believe it was over. He didn't get his phone back until after the weekend, so that's why i thought he was thru to the last round. Anyway, because Justin is a man of great faith he knew that if God wanted him to find that map he would have. Justin felt like (once again) the Lord was keeping him out of harms way. Whether it was there at selection or with the men he would've been selected with, he felt so humbled & grateful that the Lord intervened, especially knowing he did his absolute best. Of course he was disappointed, but he knew there was more going on here and it wasn't about a map! I have prayed and searched for much understanding since. In my search i found a conference talk from April 2010 given by a leader in our church, Pres. Uchtdorf. It spoke directly to Justin and i. "Continue In Patience." You can play it below.
We firmly believe that either it wasn't the right time for Justin and God had to intervene, or he needed to have this intense training experience for something else that lies ahead, or both. He still has a great desire to go through selection again (knowing he's perfectly capable and fully acknowledging that God has given him that ability), but becuz he is active duty he is set to be deployed over seas the first of Nov. He's needed somewhere else right now. For reasons unknown to us, the Lord needs me here and him there. We are doing His will and i take comfort in that. I love God, the Eternal Father and His beloved Son, Jesus Christ. We are such a blessed Nation with so much goodness. God will not ever leave us, so don't be afraid to share truth with others. I KNOW GOD IS IN CHARGE and i also know without a doubt that He will bless and preserve His people. We need to make sure our lives are in order and are aligned with His, so that righteousness can prevail.
Kansas is a beautiful and wonderful place...becuz i choose it to be such. It's not my first choice or even in my top 50, but........:) the Lord needs us to stay here longer than we (Justin & I) had planned. Let me bring you up to date. As you may know our military journey has been the biggest challenge for us yet. We volunteered to serve this amazing country (thanks to me and my bright ideas~ just kidding)..., but we've had to fight every step of the way just to serve. Many of you would ask, (sometimes indirectly) why we were doing this, especially if there was so much to lose. I appreciated the concerns. The only answer i could give and is still the same today, would be OBEDIENCE. We knew it would change everything about life as we knew it; especially financially. I testify to you that we each had personal experiences and KNEW without a doubt that it was what we were supposed to do. From that point on it was all about being obedient to a divine calling that we could not and would not deny. As cheesy as that sounds, it really was that profound. We wrote that in our journals, knowing we would need to refer to that moment often!...and boy did those obstacles rear their ugly heads and fast! EVERYTHING about our future was and is still uncertain. We felt an urgency to move forward quickly, so we put our AJ home up for sale and knew the Lord would pick up any slack. Well, this is where our faith truly began to be tested! As you may remember we acted on these promptings back in Jan. 2009, and it was delay after delay. The recruiters office that we originally started with told us that it was unusual for there to be a hiccup at every move we made. ..........and 9 months later (yes, 9 months later) Justin finally was able to swear in and get ready to go. It was a miracle, but... (always a big but), they told him that his MOS (military intelligence job) was no longer available, which had taken us months of prayer and effort to obtain and qualify for in the first place, becuz of the real intricate security clearance process. So instead they handed Justin a list of three 'entry level' positions that were available to him at the time, even though he scored high on his asvab test. We were given a few moments to make a decision. "Do we go forward with this, or just find a stable job somewhere else and walk away??!" We prayed quickly and was reminded of our journal entries.......We knew we must go forward. We chose Artillery (which is his current MOS), but also felt that it was preliminary to something that would open up later on. He went through basic and his job training this last year and our first duty station is here where we are today in Kansas.
Okay, so the first week we were here we lived in a hotel because nothing (and i mean nothing) was available. After more fervent prayer we finally found a home, but off base (which is extremely expensive). I really had to be careful that my emotions were in check, cuz our kiddos were watching our every move. Jerika thought we were on vacation and when we did get into a home, she was ready to go back home to Grandma and Papa's. Let me just say here too, I am forever grateful to my wonderful parents who took our family in during that time. It was all part of God's plan! Then, Justin came to me this same week and said, "I have a feeling i'm supposed to check into the 'Special Forces' Unit here, how do you feel about this?" Special Forces being it's own entity; the 'elite' of the Army, with sooooooo many more benefits (and some risks). He would be able to serve with a different caliber of men, he would move up in rank quicker (which means a more stable income for us), and the fact that it just fits him perfectly! We had discussed it before, but it wasn't an option at the time. So, I looked into his eyes (knowing he was scared of my reaction) and i saw them just light up! We went to the orientation and i immediately felt that it was right and that he would make it and would be a tremendous asset to this organization. We prayed for confirmation and i felt completely at peace that this was where we needed to focus. This was the end of June, so he started training with the hopes that he could have the opportunity to go to selection (aka 3 weeks in hell) in Sept. We had to convince his commander to let him go to this training, becuz his current company was headed to their own training in LA preparing for deployment in Nov. and he would miss that training. So many miracles happened (amongst the chaos) during this time, but he finally got permission. His regular unit left for training in LA and he went off to this Special Forces training in NC. During these 3 weeks the men are "let go" all along the way for not qualifying for different things. There were 400 men in his class. I didn't get to talk to him at all during this time, but "no news was good news." He had to make it through 3 gates in order to be officially selected. The first week was all individual tests, (physical & mental intense evaluations) i didn't get a phone call, the 2nd week was all land navigation testing, and at the time i didn't get a phone call then either, so i just knew he'd make it through the team events in the 3rd week..........well, Monday of the 3rd week he called me. I really didn't hesitate when his name came up on my phone, cuz i knew he was going to make it. Well, he told me he was being sent home, and i didn't believe him at first. I was really SHOCKED! He felt like everything was going good, even though it was tough he made all of his times and was actually performing better than in practice here. At the end of the second week, during the navigational portion, they dropped him off in the middle of the night (no headlamps, flashlights allowed), onto the 'star course.' He was given a map and he had to find all 5 points of the star to finish. They had to qualify within a certain amount of time too. Well, Justin told me that he made it from point A to point B and went to look at his map for the 3rd point and he couldn't find his map. He realized that somewhere along the way his map must've been snagged out of his pocket, cuz the terrain was pretty brutal! He knelt down in prayer and felt that he should back track to find it. He knelt in prayer 6 or 7 times during his search and never found it. Well, of course he was being watched, so he was picked up and they had to let him go! He said he felt completely empty in that moment and that his 'natural man' tendencies questioned the Lord. He had prepared the best he could and couldn't believe it was over. He didn't get his phone back until after the weekend, so that's why i thought he was thru to the last round. Anyway, because Justin is a man of great faith he knew that if God wanted him to find that map he would have. Justin felt like (once again) the Lord was keeping him out of harms way. Whether it was there at selection or with the men he would've been selected with, he felt so humbled & grateful that the Lord intervened, especially knowing he did his absolute best. Of course he was disappointed, but he knew there was more going on here and it wasn't about a map! I have prayed and searched for much understanding since. In my search i found a conference talk from April 2010 given by a leader in our church, Pres. Uchtdorf. It spoke directly to Justin and i. "Continue In Patience." You can play it below.
We firmly believe that either it wasn't the right time for Justin and God had to intervene, or he needed to have this intense training experience for something else that lies ahead, or both. He still has a great desire to go through selection again (knowing he's perfectly capable and fully acknowledging that God has given him that ability), but becuz he is active duty he is set to be deployed over seas the first of Nov. He's needed somewhere else right now. For reasons unknown to us, the Lord needs me here and him there. We are doing His will and i take comfort in that. I love God, the Eternal Father and His beloved Son, Jesus Christ. We are such a blessed Nation with so much goodness. God will not ever leave us, so don't be afraid to share truth with others. I KNOW GOD IS IN CHARGE and i also know without a doubt that He will bless and preserve His people. We need to make sure our lives are in order and are aligned with His, so that righteousness can prevail.
Thank you all for your prayers. I love you.
I love my music, but you'll want to pause it before this talk...
(music box is located at the very bottom).
3 comments:
Michelle,
I love you. You are such an example to so many. Thank you for sharing that. I really miss you and your family. Thank you for your faithfulness to our Lord. I will keep your family in my prayers and just as you know I have the faith that our Heavenly Father is watching out for you guys and has a special plan in store for such wonderful people. Please give Justin and the kids my love. I feel so blessed to know you. Take care, Love Renee
You guys are amazing! And have great faith, I admire you soooo much, and I love how you and Justin are a total team, and each others biggest supporters, We will keep you guys in our prayers!
Thank you so much for sharing. I know that must have been a little difficult to put all that out there. What a rollercoaster of a time you've all had the past couple of years. Thank you so much, though, for opening up about your expierences. This really touched me. You have always been such an inspiration to me and you continue to be one still. Your family is so amazing and I know it has everything to do with the strength and faith of you and Justin.
Post a Comment