HE KNOWS ME!!!

I know there is a force that doesn't want me to do anything worthwhile! Everything (and i'm not exaggerating), but everything i do there is ALWAYS a HUGE obstacle waiting for me! 2 Ne. 2: 11 says, "For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things." Most things i will take in stride, but what seems to bother me the most is dealing with others who lack integrity. Integrity = the quality of having a sense of honesty and truthfulness in regard to the motivations for one's actions. It's a virtue that includes accountability and moral responsibility! I've always been sensitive in this area, which for me is a great blessing because then i tend to be a magnet to those who have a high level of integrity and moral character. I hunger for goodness and the goodness in others. We aren't perfect no, but i respect those who are in the hunt of bettering themselves! I've learned that a Leader is always first in line during times of criticism and last in line during times of recognition. I will accept that responsibility, but i know that this is also part of my challenges! With that being said, I also know the Lord is aware, so i want to make sure i say aloud that the tender mercies and blessings are ALWAYS there too! It's quite the balancing act. I could sit back and feel sorry for myself because of the actions of others, but that's what the adversary wants me to do. I have to do much more to overpower these obstacles and that again is a challenge. As i reflect on the many people that have let me down recently (most of whom i've never met), i can't help but think that somewhere in their lives something went wrong. We are all born with the Light of Christ, so little by little these values started to chip away ~ until they became completely numb to their actions.

Jocelyn and i attended New Beginnings last night for the Young Women. Yes, she'll be 12 this year!!! It's a program that allows all the young women to assess & appreciate where they came from, where they are and where they are headed. As i sat there before it started, I pondered on the phrase "New Beginnings." I realized that we all start new things at different times in our lives, hence the word 'beginnings', but i got a feeling that it was the word NEW that really makes all the difference. Like a NEW baby, NEW clothes, a NEW hair cut or hair color...Fresh and NEW! Or like when we are baptized, we feel a sense of renewal and cleansing. We have to put forth the effort to be close to Our Father in Heaven, but sometimes we don't feel worthy to do so. I promise you He's there. Before the age of accoutability (age 8) the scriptures describe these children as being 'Whole'. Meaning they aren't capable of sinning. They are clean and pure in the eyes of the Lord. Those of us "....who are accountable and capable of committing sin; yea, we must repent and be baptized, and humble ourselves." Moroni 8:10. I'm grateful for repentance and for second chances! A NEW feeling = a NEW start! As i reNEW my covenants on Sunday during the partaking of the Sacrament, i can feel NEW and WHOLE again. I truly believe how we feel will determine how much we'll progress. Anyway, as i was deep in thought, i felt that Heavenly Father was reminding me not only that i can start aNEW, but others who've wronged me in some way are also given that opportunity. I can choose to keep moving forward and allow them their agency, which is the greatest gift from God. They can right their wrongs as they are prompted to do so. I can also choose to forgive and as i do, the Holy Ghost will give me peace and strength to overcome these obstacles. The Lord can soften hearts, but in His own due time. "As we mature and grow physically, we need to ensure that the divine within us (the Light of Christ) is being nurtured. Our actions should invite the Spirit to be the predominant force in our lives." ~ Kathleen H. Hughes. At the end of the program, those feelings were solitified when Bishop Lindsey stood and spoke. It started with me reflecting on the words of the program and it ended with the feeling that i KNEW the Lord was talking to me.

Again, i know our prayers are answered. It was a miracle in my life...as little as it may seem, it testified to me once again that Heavenly Father KNOWS ME!!! I'd been struggling to know what to do about these feelings. I'd been studying it out in my mind and last night it was simply unfolded...i'm thankful i recognized it as that.